FAQ

FAQ - 20 questions with Barbara Walters and Life In Dresden

BW: I dont get it!

LID: Well now, I don't know if that was a question or just a random thought. If you're asking what Life In Dresden is all about, then the short answer is I think my children are aliens and I'm laying out the evidence for the whole world to see.

BW: Aliens?

LID: I think so, I mean I look at them and wonder how could little creatures who I love so much be so normal one minute and then so out of this world the next minute. At times I'm not sure if they speak or understand English.

BW: So, did anything that you've written about actually happen?

LID: Some of it did, I won't tell you which stories are true, I'll let you figure that out for yourself.

BW: Do you really have 4 children?

LID: Yes, and I have the grey hairs to prove it.

BW: And can they do any of the things you've claimed in your stories?

LID: I've already told you that some of the stories are true. Come live with us for a while, maybe you can have a chance to witness some of the odd occurrences for yourself.

BW: Some people have said you may be exaggerating your tales.

LID: Duh, you think?

BW: What is the strangest thing to happen in yor family that you haven't told us about?

LID: Hmm ... there was the time we all ate the moldy bread and started tripping. That was a possible cause of the Salem Witchcraft trials you know, people eating moldy bread and then hallucinating about neighbours being possessed.

BW: Does your wife approve of your writing?

LID: Not so much at first but now she's telling people that it's our blog, she does the spell checking and censors some of my bluer or more obscure entries. She keeps on reminding me that not everyone knows whether or not I'm kidding.

BW: Do your children like your blog?

LID: No, not at all, that is why I keep on reminding them of that scene in Scorpian King where the two dudes are buried up to their necks in the desert sand and the fire ants are coming ...

BW: You wouldn't!

LID: No, not really, if anything ever happened to them, who would help me with the supper dishes?

BW: Is Dresden a real place?

LID: Not if you live here, it's kind of like The Twilight Zone or maybe The Land Of Oz. Sometimes I think it may even be just another extension of the Matrix and my family and I are but glitches in the system. How's that for profound?

BW: No one has ever seen you. Are you as handsome as your wife says you are?

LID: I hide her eye glasses and I keep her drunk. When she asks me who I am I tell her I am Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt. Let's not spoil her fantasy.

BW: What are you favourite movies?

LID: Um ... Mars Attacks, The Cone Heads and Galaxy Quest, as well as anything else that is based on a true story.

BW: And your favourite bands?

LID: Green Day and Pink Floyd. I hope the colours don't clash!

BW: Books?

LID: The Stand by Steven King, the extended edition is well worth the 1100 or so pages. Or maybe Tolkien's The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. I've read them all maybe a dozen times.

BW: If you were running for Miss Universe, what would be your one wish?

LID: Peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind ... or one hour alone with Sandra Bullock, what ever came first. I hope my wife and kids don't see this!

BW: Do you think Micheal Jackson did it?

LID: Oh yes, guilty, no doubt about it. I read he could have been cellmates with Charles Manson. I think Charlie would have liked that.

BW: Does anyone actually read your blog?

LID: I don't think so, I think the counter has an automatic advance feature and I'm really part of a secret experiment being conducted by an insane scientist who's trying to see just how long I will continue writing before I realize that no one is reading this.

BW: Am I here now?

LID: Of course! I think, I think I am, so therefore I am. What was the question again?

BW: If you were a Star Bellied Sneech, would you or would you not have a star?

LID: Stars are cool, they rock. I'd have one tattooed on my butt!

And now for something completely different - SALEM WITCH TRIALS -