The wedding of the year
took place earlier this week but it was not this one, the union of Sir Elton John to the "Lady" David Furnish. I feel slighted as I was not invited to attend the ceremony as I am only four degrees of separation away from the couple. It turns out that a fellow I work with is married to a woman who works with another woman who was the childhood friend and next door neighbour of the "bride". If that doesn't deserve front row seats to this all-star circus then nothing does!
I referred to the newlyweds as being Sir and Lady, as Elton had been knighted by the Queen of England, and David is now the "wife" of a royal knight. I try my hardest to be politically (in)correct but I am having a real difficult time with this latest development. In order to be as objective as possible I have compiled the following list as to how and why their coupling can work:
1) No snuggling neccessary
2) No foreplay
3) No small talk
4) They both leave
5) No shaving
6) They both know they're lying
7) No risk of pregnancy
8) No PMS
9) Neither one will never ask "does this make me look fat?"
10) If they do ask they can answer "yes".
And now for something completely different - DISNEY